Craigslist ads can be entertaining and this one is excellent.
I have a beautiful Saddleback Leather, Large Classic Briefcase in Chestnut that I am selling. I would be crying over this ad and having to sell this bag except for the fact that I am selling it to buy a different color in the same bag. So no worries for me! This bag is about 12 months old and shows little to no wear. It has a 100 year warranty, that is why the company motto is “They’ll fight over it when your dead!”
Brand new this bag costs over $700 with shipping (trust me I know, I just bought the same bag in a different color) but I am only asking $525, yes I know, you’re asking yourself, “why is he being so generous, this bag is totally worth $700.00?” It’s because I have a general love for people and I know how much good leather can affect a persons self-esteem.
Just picture it… You are out there all by yourself trying to change the world and do something significant, but the tools you need along this journey are too great to carry in just any old bag. Average bags crumble at the thought of what you must carry. You buy my bag and are able to carry your much needed, highly valuable resources to change the world and next thing you know you have invented the world’s first TRUE electric car. One that can drive at highway speeds for more than 10 minutes. Oil companies no longer have any need to exist so the free market economy squeezes them out (Adam Smith’s invisible hand) and seagulls the world over thank you. Not to mention that since we don’t need oil anymore most of the turmoil in the Middle East comes to an end and we experience a period of unparalleled peace. Democrats and Republicans who have been fighting over whether to drill in Alaska now have nothing to bicker about so partisan lines slowly start to fade and ten years later we have a single party government that is able to achieve wildly more than any American could desire. All because you bought my bag. Yes, that is why I am being so generous.
Oh, and did I mention that if some tall, dark stranger who works for big oil catches on to your plans to invent the perfect electric car and tracks you in an attempt to steal said plans, that you can convert the briefcase into a ninja backpack and make a swift run for it? I didn’t? Well shame on me, because you can.
You can also strap your plans onto the bottom of the briefcase with the bomb-proof D-rings (just in case big oil starts throwing grenades at you). And I’d bet that you, in your peak physical condition, could probably easily escape “the man”. There is also a secret flap inside the back section that acts as a false bottom for for hiding the schematics of your flux capacitor (which we all know is the secret to a TRUE, fully electric car), so you can rest assured that your average Starbucks troll who decides to go digging through your bag won’t happen upon your plans and and get credit for all your hard work!
Once again, it all hinges on the awesomeness of the Saddleback Leather, Large Classic Briefcase in Chestnut. Let’s face it, not buying this bag is a slippery slope!
If you’re interested in higher self-esteem, changing the world, inventing the world’s best electric car, putting an end to Big Oil, and bringing peace to the Middle East, give me a call. 817-six00-83four9 and ask for Nick
Disclosure- The results stated in this post are not typical and are not guaranteed by Nick or Saddleback Leather. You should always consult a physician before entering into the awesomeness of Saddleback leather.
To buy this bag, call Nick.